Wishes

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan."
--Elenor Rosevelt
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Name this glop

OK...I know that Monday's meal is enough to turn the stomach of a famished child living in the slums of Calcutta, but this time it's REALLY nasty! Did I suddenly loose my teeth or develop a swallowing problem that I'm not aware of?

Can you identify the glop on this plate? Winner gets a $10 gift certificate for either Walmart or iTunes. (Not valid if youve ever spent any period of time in an Edmonton hospital.)

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Treat others as thou would like to be treated...

I think that this quote says it all:

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. -James D. Miles-
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Off to the Glenrose we go?

The cat is officially out of the bag...it appears that I may be finally transferred to the neuro-rehab department of the Glenrose hospital tomorrow.

I've been sitting here at the Royal Alex for 76 days now and waiting for that bed since April 7th!

The nurses weren't supposed to let me know about that in case plans change, but one of them admitted that yes, there is a bed for me either tomorrow or the day after.

It's funny that while all this time I couldn't wait to leave, now that I'm faced with the almost certainty, I'm almost afraid. Afraid of what, though? Of change? Perhaps the unknown? Maybe its because I'm taking a fairly big step in the direction of life after this exacerbation and my separation from my husband that I fear moving forward.
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Happiness

This is AWESOME....something we should all remember. A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.
'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;
I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.
I am still depositing.
'Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

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Another day, another headache...

May 31
Dad told me that he would get ready to drive down in a couple of weeks to help out with the girls and help me find and settle into a place.

I called Hesham to relate the information and he refused to return my salams. I told him that my father would be coming and would help watch the girls, and Hesham blatently said that he would not be allowed to interact with them.

I passed that info to my father and told him that if necessary, I'd go get the girls for him to spend time with.

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Husband Report

Has left kids alone on several occasions in saudi and twice while I was at hospital.

Kids get in trouble when he has their charge...markers embroidery floss.

January 19 he called my father to complain about me. Said I spend all day online, don't feed or clean the girls. That was the day I moved his clothes into the girls' bedroom and the girls were moved in with me.

In mid february, I was getting ready to take the girls to the library when he didn't want me to go (because I apparently go out too much for his taste). He threatened that if I left, our relationship was over. It was a no brainer... I said 'fine' and left.

Went to emergency march 15 and admitted March 17

April 19: Calls me demanding money...told him hed have it by the end of the month. He got angry,so I told him I'd be hanging up the phone.

According to mother, he threw the phone across the floor as hard as he could...in front of children.

He calls me 10 minuter later to tell me I am divorced.

After that he goes to my mother accusing her of spying on him and taking things (passports) without his permission after I had asked her to get them for me so I could have copies faxed to social assistance.

April 24
We agreed to meet up on Friday, April 24th at 7pm at the Royal Alex hospital in Edmonton.

H presented me with three options...he also told me that the decision of which 3 was up to me:
1-that I take the girls and he get visitation. An agreement would also be made that I would not take the girls out of the province.
2-he get the childcare subsidy and take the children to Egypt and study there for a period of time.
3-we get back together following certain 'rules'.

I told him that I preferred choice #1 and we then spent several hours discussing religious aspects. He wanted to know why I wished to leave him and I told him that he was an eternal perrimist and I couldn't deal with his negatovoty. I didn't enjoy sex and according to him, I was lazy, never doing anything productive.

He kept stating that. He should be happy to have thbe chance at another better wife, yet never answered my question as to why he therefire wasn't happy about my decision?

At the end of the conversation when I finally stood my ground, he kept insisting on the reasons, telling me that the reasons weren't good enough and I must therefore be hiding something from him. I told him that I couldn't verbally express myself any better and it was time for me to return to my room.

He got upset and as I headed towards the elevator he became spiteful and took me back as my wife so that I wouldn't have another relationship under Islamic pretenses.

He then said that hed be dropping off the kids here permanently at the first of the month if I didn't give him more than the $1000 I said I would give him.

April 25

Refuses to return salams.

Tomorrow is my mother's last day in town and instead of visiting me in the hospital, he's trying to convince her to go sight-seeing.

Agreed to find the girls' SIN numbers.

May 4 went home...angry at comment

May 5 informed that my cheque would be cut...worker told Carol I'd not be having the children

Applied and accepted for income support. Angry that I didn't tell him about april cheque. Asked if he planned on taking the kids to Egypt, said he didn't know.

Refuses to apply for daycare subsidy and go get a job. Always finding excuses

Verbally attacked my mother.

Hesham made a comment at one point that since I'm his sponsor, I should support him (this as I lay in the hospital).

May 6
Called Hesham to ask him if he knew where the Avon products are and he didn't know. When I said I'd call my mom and ask her, he started complaining about how she called my father 4 times a day. I said she'd pay the bill and he started ranting that she had been spying. I called him crazy and he said that if he was crazy, not to call back again.

May 7

Hesham came over with the girls and we reached an agreement that I'd take custody by June 30 at the latest he said I could send the girls to NB for up to three months at the most...we agreed to draw up a separation agreement.

May 10
Called Hesham to ask if he'd sign the document I need for my parents to travel with the girls and at first he said yes...then he started ranting about how my mom would have to sign a document stating that she wouldn't keep the girls any longer than 3 months.

I said that this was fine and shed do it when she comes, but I needed the document signed and notarized. He said that my mom is suspicious of him (that he'll change his mind) and that she drinks. I asked him if he preffered I come home now and gave up my place at the Glenrose (and any chances at walking)? He didn't answer and said to be respectful, he was not my husband. I told him I was hanging up and did so.

May 20-21
Because Hesham had to go to Calgary, I arranged for the girls to stay with Aminah. I called and asked him to make sure he packed their toothbrushes, pyjamas and extra clothes. For the two days/nights they might be there.

Aminah reports that Yasmine had dirty panties on her with no clean changes. Hesham did not send any extra clothes. What Aminah received is the following:
2 diapers--one of them dirty on outside
Pyjamas
Two pairs of slippers-one of them wet
10 slices of cheese
2 apples
2 bananas
Crackers

Yasmine had no problems staying with Aminah's family, Daniya was a little upset at being left there and cried for about five minutes before settling down to watch TV and play.

They ate a lot, of food, such as cereal, pizza, hot dogs fruit and veggies. Their appetite was very good. On the Wednesday evening, Sarah went to get ice cream sundaes for them from McDonalds.

When Hesham came to pick up the girls, they were pklaying outside with the other children. Daniya was upset that she had to leave and said "No babba" when she learned she had to go home.
Hesham complained that when he picked them up, they were dirty, unkept and hungry. The girls were playing outside in a field when he arrived and it was just before lunch, so naturally, theh were not hungry.

May 29
Hesham came without forewarning to sign the papers that I had received (and my parents had signed/notarized) stating that my mom could fly the girls to NB for a few months.

I showed them to him and he was not satisfied with them. He told me that it wasn't specific enough as to who was responsible for returning them and (its implied that my parents and I are). And with the mention of the three months from date of departure, we hadn't mentioned from where.

It was clear that he wasn't going to sign the documents and I started complaining how we (social workers, parents, me) had bent over backwards to get a document that would satisfy him, yet he still wasn't happy.

He started to complain about how ungrateful my parents and I were...that he had done so much for my mother--paying for her taxi ride and buying food when at the time she had offered to pay for it and he would staunchly refuse.

At that point I asked if he intended to allow me to take the children and he said I wasn't capable of it with my situation.

I told him that the girls and condo rent were therefore his responsibility and because of him, I now have zero income, including SFI. Because of his big mough, I was left with nothing, so he can take care of the expenses himself.

I gave tje girls a kiss and told them that I loved them, then left.

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